Office Safari – The Big 5 Beasts

Office Safari – The Big 5 Beasts

Deadly, vicious beasts stomping around in the open. Shy and reluctant creatures hiding in the shadows. Smelly, dirty monsters lurking in grubby holes and damp areas.

They’re all there. Hiding in the print room. Lurking behind the pot plant. Camouflaged in amongst the herd of your colleagues.

You might have not noticed them yet, or maybe you did but didn’t know what breed they were? There’s a menagerie of animals in your office…how many can you spot today?

Here’s the big 5 (and a few more for good measure):

  1. HIPPO – not necessarily defined by their physical stature, but by their rank and willingness to use it (it stands for HIghest Paid Persons Opinion) this is someone who is happy to shout the loudest to get what they want. Someone who will use their position and authority to their advantage.
  2. Bulls – Confident, optimistic individuals full of hope and positivity. Their personal value is probably rising, always looking on the bright side and expecting the best can end up being their downfall, as they aren’t good at planning for negative scenarios. Can also be viewed as aggressive by some.
  3. Bison – Pragmatic, strong shouldered individuals who excel in the art of compromise. Resourceful and dedicated to the pursuit of collective success. Bit boring, not one to rock the boat, normally avoids drawing attention to itself while it quietly goes about it business among the herd.
  4. The elephant (in the room) – their presence is felt even when they can’t be seen. They can cause fear and nervousness. They’re the thing everyone wants to talk about, but doesn’t. It’s not until someone is brave enough to say that they’re aware of them that they become visible.
  5. Hyenas – a pack animal, with thick skin, that seeks solace in the company of like minded friends. They hunt prey together and can cause huge damage to an individual or initiative if they choose to.

The best of the rest…

6. Snakes – slippery, dangerous little buggers. They often hide in the perrifery, watching and waiting for an opportunity to strike. To bite you and embed their poison. Watch out for these. Step on one by mistake and it could be fatal (for your career).

7. Ostrich – those who flap around looking impressive, but when the going gets tough bury their head in the sand and avoid facing reality.

8. Rats – always on the move, always looking for the simplest path, willing to take shortcuts and clamber over their peers and exploit others resources for their own survival. Known to spread corporate diseases.

9. Seals – you know that noise that seals make? That distinctive throaty bark/honk? That sudden loud noise that draws attention? There will be someone in your office who makes a similar noise. Happy, but a bit smelly, and very loud. Ok to be around, but not for too long (especially at lunch time).

10. Rabbits (in the headlights) – easily spooked. Often run for cover at the first sign of focus moving towards them. Efficient, fast, frisky, but timid and fearful.

11. Black sheep – the antagonists. The rebels who happily go against the grain.

Keep your eyes peeled today and see what other animals you find in your office. Share the details in the comments below, I’d love to know…

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